When it rains, it pours, and in Uganda, it’s raining paternal shocks. A surprising trend has erupted among Ugandan men, and no, it doesn’t involve football or rolexes (a popular Ugandan snack). At least 32 men are having an unexpected ‘Who’s the Daddy?’ moment, with DNA tests revealing they’re not the biological fathers of children they had been nurturing.
A number of men have now written to the Directorate of Citizenship and Immigration Control (DCIC), seeking to wipe their details off their non-biological children’s passports. The authorities, however, seem just as baffled as the unfortunate fathers. The DCIC recommends a bureaucratic runaround to the National Identification Registration Authority (NIRA) to amend the details.
One could argue that the current media coverage of similar predicaments might be stirring up some sort of ‘paternity test fever.’ One particular case stands out: a Ugandan working in Europe had a ‘Eureka!’ moment after a nasty spat with his wife. Suspicions aroused, he conducted clandestine DNA tests on his six children. Lo and behold, it turned out that he was the father of, wait for it… none!
The man in question didn’t take the results at face value and, with a pinch of disbelief and a dash of desperation, he shipped samples for further tests to Canada and South Africa. The international verdict? The same – a big zero in the paternal department.
Amidst the chaos, Ugandan men have been thronging the Ministry of Internal Affairs, armed with DNA testing exhibits – from hair to nail samples. However, they’ve been promptly redirected to the Government Analytical Laboratory (DGAL) for proper testing protocols.
And thus continues the tragicomic saga of DNA tests and daddy dilemmas in the heart of Uganda. Meanwhile, those in the hair and nail collection business may want to reconsider their career paths.